You State you tried Marijuana, with mixed results, was it smoking, vaping or some other form? I like the THC powder available to me. I don’t get high, but it eases my pain to a manageable state in the morning. Because insurance doesn’t pay for it, it is beyond my reach to use throughout the day...
have you tried a good CBD oil? If not ask the question as to what ones people here recommend!

I’ve added you to my team

Blessings

Cheryll

Don't do it. If you take this and do it without having a very good knowledge of it you will end up killing yourself. There is no way to know the actual strength of the alkaloids you will take with a random batch of seeds, especially when mixing with grapefruit or lemon juice.

Honestly it is too much of a gamble to be worth anything in my opinion. I value my life much more but when you are at this level of asking it means that you are having no other choice. If I were you, I would look into medicinal uses of our other plants.

Take care and be safe!

Well I take my hat off to you. Not giving up.