I am there,
Been there for 17 years.
I however believe there is something much larger than us.
50 Billion years of Evolution can't end with us.
So I keep myself going because of a Ethos that I live by.
I Know that Living is much harder than death.
I am not going to submit to my impulses and throw in the towel.
It is a constant struggle though.
Pain can cause Quality of life to drop in an instant.
We can't choose the path of least resistance.
Keep fighting

Please find away to hang on . I hear you the pain is awful and takes everything away . I want you to know you are important and the world needs you . You said you want to finish your masters degree that's amazing . You have come this far . Life can be hard but life can be beautiful. Try to get out side when you can the miracles are all around you . The trees the grass it's all beautiful. We need you , your a beautiful souls that has alot to offer . You have unique gifts that no one else has but you . Try to love your self with what ever helps you relax . Music helps me I love to read but the pain distracts me so I listen to Audiobooks from the library . Please please please try and find a tiny bit of hope we need you . You are loved . I'm sending you hugs I hope today has been a tiny bit better than yesterday .

I am right there with you. I really on opioid pain medicine because that is the ONLY thing that works for me - believe me, I've tried them all. Last week my PM reduced my doses and said the dea had been in and forced them to reduce everyone's doses, that is a lie. So I asked my PCP for a referral to palliative care and they're working on that now. If that doesn't work out, I will apply for PAS (physician assisted suicide). A friend of mine chose this. I am not afraid of death at all, in fact, I welcome it. I'm tired of the unrelenting pain that doesn't allow me to do much in life. What kind of life is it, if you can't go anywhere or do anything fun? I support you in your feelings. If you ever want to talk, DM me! Try to have a good day in spite of your genetics (that's what I have too).

Greetings: I have dealt with RA for more than 30 years, at times my thoughts were suicidal as well. I have finally found some relief and feeling better than I have for many years. First, I recommend finding a good pain specialist and if you are on opiods to get off them as they contribute to your pain. I was on opiods for years and hated it but did not know of any other means of controlling the pain. I take a medication called Buprenorphine and that coupled with a bunch of other therapies finally can deal with the pain I have. I have come a long way. I just went through a rheumatoid flare that lasted a week. Not one inch of my body wasnt on fire. I had been given Prednisone, high doses tapering off. While I was on that I didnt need any pain meds. Wish I could have stayed on those high doses of steroids but you cannot do so. It seems like it reset my body and I now can go some days sans pain meds depending on the weather. So, get an appointment with a pain specialist, it is the only way I know of to get you back to living again.

I "climbed" the WHO pain ladder as recommended by my neurologist for my chemo induced peripheral neuropathy and found that only Percocet worked for me...45mg/day. Not pain free but at least I can sleep better. We pain patients are being persecuted due to a hysteria created by PROP and one Dr. Kolodny...go ahead...look it up for yourself. It's unconscionable!

Then, contact your State legislators and tell them about the intractable pain you are enduring from your State Medical Board due to their inability/unwillingness to understand that pain patients across America are suffering horrendous and unbearable levels of pain caused by State Medical Boards and the DEA who are imposing non-evidence based medical rules regarding controlled prescription pain medications, resulting in severe pain medicine shortages, thereby forcing legitimate pain patients to seek pain relief from unregulated sources, causing a worsening of our fellow citizens suffering from Fentanyl poison and death!

We must each find the strength to tell them, and to tell them in numbers too big to ignore...or they will in fact...ignore us! 💜