Funny how things work out. When I was first injured I suffered from the what can I do to fill my hours. I was in my late 30s and a single parent who had been working a second job on weekends. So despite having two kids to care for, there was a big gap. I had AA to fill some time, the kids needed stuff but I could not clean my house nor even attempt to date. I started drawing and painting to fill the hours. I had my old fountain pen from high school and a 69 cent kid's water color set. I also found that the one thing besides the art that I could do was bake. So I baked biscuits from scratch for the kids, cakes and cookies for AA functions, and little by little filled my day in. I did end up dating again, remarried, and now live in NC.

Today I find that there aren't enough hours in my day. Some of that is age, 69 moves much slower then 39 did. Today I was up at 9:30, fed the critters, let the dogs out, dressed, loaded my car with this week's laundry and headed for the laundromat. While things were drying I hiked through Walmart looking for a few things, went back and loaded my car, headed home, and carried it all in. Then I got to take my pain meds. Took a break, coffee (yes) and kept it rolling. At 6pm half needs to be put away, dishes washed, and at some time I get to eat. Forgot to put dinner out for today. Tomorrow it all begins again. I am also my husband's care giver and thankfully can now leave him home long enough to get chores done.

If someone could send me some extra hours it would be nice. The thing here folks is that I am a push the envelope personality. All the pain from my back and autoimmune disorders is still there. This does catch up to me and I pay the piper so to speak but staying busy makes me feel almost normal. It's taken years to figure out that the key for me is to keep moving. I don't say my life style is right for others but it does work for me. Peace, Barb

@A MyChronicPainTeam Member That's one of the hard parts of disability: not working. Besides the money and benefits it filled a social need also. Being needed and able to help others. It leaves a void Bonnie.

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A MyChron...

I spent quite a few years on the couch crying the blues when the pain became bad. For me depression came hand in hand with the pain. The worse the pain, the worse the depression. I have been dealing with chronic pain for 25 odd years, 10 years on the couch because I couldn't walk.. At first reading took me away. But earlier this year, pain took over and I attempted suicide. What got me over the hump was my daughter and her positivity. She got me to move from the couch outside, just to sit and watch nature. Take one day at a time, take deep breathes, and talk to my friends. Reach out and talk to others so they also know how your feeling and can join in to help. It is hard, but I have realized that I must be here for a reason, so I will continue to breathe in and out.

Because so much loss comes with chronic pain, Loss in many ways contributes to depression, it really got me when I stopped doing things because I couldn't take the added pain , I often fealt sad saying no to things. Plus chronic pain robs us of our propper income and that depressed me a great deal. Ì stop myself now when I start to dwell on the negative. Take care

Don't you just love waking up and thinking "is this going to be this way for the rest of my life?" I know I did. Now I wake up and think, I've got another day to figure this out. I spend my days looking for solutions. All my doctors now expect me to have new ideas and most of the time I am right. You don't have to rest in your situation. You can do something about it. I did and my current pain is less than half it used to be.