One thing i believe that keeps the obsolete from happening, the positive is to see these as learning experiences and must now find different ways to grow or become or grow obsolete. And then from force of bad habits, drift away from each other. Growing and learning new ways of pleasuring each other , from gentle hugs to gentle glances, there are milions of ways to share love , try them , not always the same routine. There, i have had my say !

@A MyChronicPainTeam Member We miss a lot in life sex , work , hobbys vacations , gaderings , social activitys it is hard to stay motivated to live further.And depression is always round the corner. I don t have any advise or solution. Sorry and Compassion.

I self had a acceptation procces / a big struggle for all the losses i was very angry had a low self esteem and grieved for two years. Now i can say i can see my life in its perspective how small it is and i can be glad again with little goals and moments of enjoyment. The goals are peanuts for healthy people but for me a challange . Go to physical therapy and shower on the same day. Volunteer a hour by a creativity group. Do a grosery and going to basketbalgame from my son.

I had coaching from a psycholoog to get my motivation back for life. Maybe you can seak help and speak also out your expertations and wishes about communication with your wife with counseling . I went true a depression. I stay out of it ; by doing physical therapy in a group in a fitnesshal and meet other peolpe and now true voluntering.

The pain works paralysing but you have to keep on moving in a soft way to stimulate the brain also.Maybe you can go to a cart club or a dart club or pool for a swim. You have to stay active otherwise you dwel away.surch coaching to re -invent your life again it is a diffecult task so don t be afraid to ask help from a professional.

We miss out a lot its diffecult to don t look back in anger but to say i had it all i was luckey, now i have to find a way to do it without all the pleasures of life and try to live those painfull ordanary days and keep peace in the mind.

If you keep telling yourself you need more and can live without sex you will stay angry about the loss. Being a sexual human is a important part of us and we get a lot of drive out of it in life but we can do without it. Its proved.

I wish you strenght to carry on.

The words i say are also for myself because it is a big challange to keep your head up .

Greetings from Holland

💓🌷💓🌷💓🌷💓🌷💓🌷💓

Mentioned Users

A MyChron...

I had endometriosis when I was in my teens and 20s. I married at 20, lost 5 pregnancies in my 20s. This was with my 1st husband. He never paid attention to my pain and we divorced. My present husband of 35 years has been understanding after my dr had a talk with him. Unfortunately, I developed fibro too so that was the end. Add degenerative disc disease and there's no choice. One thing that is important is that love needs to be shown in different ways and very important to take time to talk to each other, write letters or cards. There's more to a marriage than sex. A special bond needs to be formed or it can't last. My present marriage has been for 35 years, through good and mostly bad. He works a lot so I am home mostly alone. This site has helped me enormously. I know my situation isn't the norm. Heartache is very much a part of chronic pain.

Help me out @A MyChronicPainTeam Member what’s a ‘sex life’. Lol I’m afraid mine has deteriorated to zero. We even usually sleep in separate beds as both have chronic pain and other symptoms. So neither of us sleep very well so we don’t want to keep each other up or neither would sleep at all.
We are physical and express our sexuality lots of cuddles, kisses holding hands etc. We have been together since we were teenagers that’s 48 years ago and we love each other dearly. Pain hasn’t stopped that we just have to be aware that chronic pain can make us grumpy with our nearest and dearest therefore we need to try to avoid doing that especially if both have chronic pain or it could get miserable. Obviously there are times when our frustration comes out but we just understand what it’s like. Sex isn’t the most important part of having a loving relationship love, empathy, support etc are far more important. Hope your doing well today and pain is on a low threshold. God bless xx

Mentioned Users

A MyChron...

Catwomen wise words thank you for sharing !

I am sorry your both have that amouth of pain and respect hoe you deal with it.

Greetings from Holland
💓🌷💓🌷💓🌷💓🌷💓